I’ve meant to write this blog for a couple of years. As someone who once mistakenly wrapped her identity around her job, leaving corporate life in 2022 opened my eyes to what truly makes life count. And at the top of that list? The invaluable bond of girl friendships.
Don’t get me wrong—I’ve always had an amazing network of friends. But something has changed. Maybe turning forty has given me a new perspective, or maybe it’s just the journey of reinvention. Either way, I see my friends in a different light now, and these connections have become the cornerstone of a rich and fulfilling life.
As I’ve navigated this new chapter of entrepreneurship and bliss-following, certain moments, statements, and dialogues have been etched into my memory—wise words from incredible women who have loved me through it all.
So, for my own sweet reminders, here’s what friendship has looked like during my lowest moments:
Arm in Arm: “When you do it, don’t picture us there with you hand-in-hand. Picture us arm in arm.” A friend said this to me while I was driving to work the day I put in my resignation. I didn’t know it would be my last day. The image of her and her wife, arms looped with mine, was so poignant and comforting.
A Note of Strength: A handwritten note from a mentor I hadn’t spoken with in months arrived unexpectedly. In it, she reminded me of my strength, the corporation’s loss, and encouraged me to remember that I was capable of great things, no matter which path I chose.
Wine and Affirmations: One day, after a particularly rough time, I came home and went straight to bed. I woke up to find wine and a card left at my door by a friend who didn’t disturb me. The card was filled with affirmations she wrote specifically for me. She didn’t let me go too long without reminding me that I would be okay.
Leading the Charge on the Dance Floor: One of my most favorite memories. On a Saturday night, a friend texted me, “Hey, I have two tickets to the Heart Ball and don’t really want to take my husband. Can you put on a fancy dress and go with me tonight?” We agreed that whoever was ready first would pick up the other. When we arrived, we floated around the room, mingling with everyone, and I was reminded that, yes, I can still work a room, and yes, Lexington still welcomes and loves me. Later that night, we were the first to hit the dance floor, and people loved it! We didn’t care how we looked—we just confidently danced like no one was watching. Tops in Lex even captured a picture I look at daily; it never fails to bring a smile to my face.
Awesome Runs with Awesome: “Awesome runs with awesome.” I once said this to a friend who wondered why so many of us wanted to connect with her. She called us awesome, and I immediately replied, “So what does that make you? Awesome runs with awesome. Never think that hanging out with extraordinary people makes you anything but extraordinary!”
Coffee and Courage: Making the time for coffee was another moment that stuck with me. A colleague whom I had only known professionally, didn’t hesitate when I asked to meet at Kenwick Table. I was curious about her digital business and wanted to learn more about website design. When I confided that I was feeling pulled yet scared to start my own business, she confidently said, “I know you can do it. You just have to go for it.” That moment was pivotal. She was right. And now, she’s on my Davonna Inc. team.
Finding Ways to Show Talents for Good: My friends also helped me pull my professional talents into meaningful work. One invited me to share my money story at a women’s networking group (thank you, Women’s Worth Alliance). Another hired me to help facilitate a meeting. Yet another said, “I’ve never felt comfortable with someone else doing my marketing, but I would totally hire you”—and she did. These friends saw my talents, trusted me to deliver 100%, and reminded me that I was still worthy and capable of excelling professionally.
Here we are! On the dance floor! How they caught this pic is beyond me, but talk about a moment!
The Point
So what do Deposits and Withdrawals have to do with this? Reese Witherspoon once talked about friendships in one of my fave podcasts, “We Can Do Hard Things.” I’ve listened to that interview multiple times. She emphasized “deposits and withdrawals.” We’ve all had friends who only make withdrawals, and it’s exhausting.
But then, some friends consistently deposit goodness, love, help, presence, and genuine connection into our lives. These are the friends to hold dear—the ones who pull us out of sadness after sitting with us for a while, who make us a priority, whose hearts align with ours, and who know what we need before we even realize it ourselves. These are the friends who accept us, flaws and all, and celebrate us simply for who we are.
Find the friends who prioritize deposits, who give deposits, and who appreciate the deposits you give them. Hold on to these friends. Love them hard. Don’t let go. And deposit back.
When I turned 40, some of my dear friends in my horseshoe threw me a surprise party, and everyone dressed like me! I’m so fortunate.