My life partner, David, and I spent our fifteen-year wedding anniversary trip in St. Lucia. It was magical, to say the least! We had never been anywhere tropical and the hospitality was a highlight.
I’ve reflected a lot upon a conversation we had with one of our many drivers. Someone in front of him was not complying with traffic rules. He said something to the effect of, “Oh, that must be a tourist.” He did not say this negatively. He was not rolling his eyes. It was just matter-of-fact. (This was not the first time we heard a driver comment about tourists and their lack of driving abilities.)
We asked him, “Do you ever honk? Do you ever get mad?” We expected an answer like what we do here in America: honk or yell or ride their bumper. What do you do when you get angry at other drivers? We asked, and his simple answer was…
“We don’t.”
The simple, beautiful answer caught us both off guard. They don’t get mad. It just is. They realize it’s part of the experience.
There is actually science behind what our driver was describing. Brain scientist Jill Bolte Taylor found that once we have an emotional reaction to something, the chemical surge behind it runs its course in about ninety seconds.
Just ninety seconds, y’all.
After that, staying angry, staying triggered, staying in the loop, is a choice we keep making, not something happening to us. Our driver had, without ever studying the research, mastered the ninety-second rule long before Taylor gave it a name.
If only we could approach life and life’s challenges like this. I know in the hustle and bustle of my life, at times I can be triggered very easily. The cultural editors around me tell me to have a negative reaction: anger, revenge, frustration. If we control our thoughts and realize we get to choose our responses, how much more peace would that bring to our lives?
I ask you today to think about how you are going to respond to whatever negative thing comes in your life on the day-to-day. Is your answer with a deep breath, with patience, with empathy, with understanding?
One of the most beautiful sights in St. Lucia was the Pitons!